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+ This old Nesturbation


 HOW TO MAKE YOUR BUSTED ASS NINTENDO WORK LIKE NEW

 How to put SNES controllers on a NES

 A fix for a supposedly "dead" NES

 How to disable your NES lockout chip

I just received word that Bob Vila wants YOU (yes you) to help him with this section. No really, he told me today in this e-mail I received:

Dear Mr McGruder, please stop bothering me about your nintendo page. I will have my lawyers contact you if these e-mails don't stop. Besides, I like the nes wormhole better.

You crazy nes kids

When I clean my games I use rubbing alcohol on Q-tips and move the Q-tips horizontally on the cart's connectors. Here's some reader's tips;

chocob0's nes cleaning tips:

I never clean my system anymore, as my cleaning kits are long gone. Instead, I use my Game Genie :) To clean my games, I use a q-tip with water, or if there's a buildup of something in there that won't come out (I found a coccoon in a game I bought used once) I just take whatevers handy and forcibly remove it.

To fix the fuzz that can appear on your screen while playing Nintendo at times, I bang on the top of my NES. I have a major crack on the top of my NES. Interestingly, my NES now works better than ever. I also keep a spare NES, and am going to get a new-model NES so that the fun can continue fifty years from now in case my original NES breaks. Tell Bob that I said hi!

Thanks for your input chocob0. Unfortunately due to new harassment laws put into place I cannot send any e-mail, make any phone calls nor be around Bob Vila.

We have yet another reply this time from Spazzoid:

A while ago, I went to my favorite used video game store, "Gamers". I asked them how they clean their games and they told me that they use some windex (yes, windex) and a q-tip to clean 'em out. I've tried that, and it works pretty well. As always, make sure you dry the game out pretty well after you're done.